Murl's Past Questions & Answers
Dear Murl,
I understand that the strongest beer made in the world is Samichlaus. Is that true?
Jason Yunker.
Dear Jason,
Sorry about that curt response last month. I couldn't resist having a bit of fun at your expense. What can I say. That's what they pay me the big Milk Bones around here to do. To answer your question, according to York University, the world's strongest beer is Uncle Igor's Famous Falling Over Water, brewed by the Ross Brewery in Bristol, U.K. The Unc packs a walloping at 17.3 % alcohol by volume and should not be consumed while discussing subjects that might necessitate the usage words of greater than 2 syllables, prior to sexual activities requiring any modicum of concentration, or while operating anything whatsoever! ... except perhaps your remote control.
Take it easy Jason. Woof! Murl.
Dear Murl,
Sometimes I get my beer at the very end of the month, sometimes it doesn't come until the first week of the next month. What up home-dog? Are you "irregular" my furred friend?
Panting Patiently, Stacey Crane, Phoenix, AZ
YoStace,
Who you calling irregular? Why sometimes I go three times in one walk! On the beer delivery time-frame, it would be one of those catch-22 kinda deals. See, we always have the breweries that we're working with brew custom batches for us each month so that we can ship you the freshest product available. Herein lies Anacin Headache # 247: Most microbreweries don't have the same length brewing/bottling production cycle and even if they did, the freight distances to our warehouse vary. Bottom line? We always request the beer be delivered just before the end of the month so that we only hold it for a few days before sending it to you. Micros are small companies and it only takes one of the 2 or 3 breweries that we feature each month to slip on the date to cause the entire shipment to go out late.
The only other thing that might delay your shipment would be in the case where your UPS driver decides to do an Ace Ventura job on your box and manages to break a portion of the contents. Sometimes they'll send it back to us and other times it gets repackaged and forwarded on to you. If you get an incomplete package, call us immediately. If it comes to us, we'll call you and notify you that it's coming late the day we get it back and we'll reship it the same day. We appreciate your patience and will continue to stress the importance of meeting delivery deadlines when working with breweries down the road. Man, I sounded so Corporate there for a minute! Somebody stop me!
Woof! Murl.
Dear Murl,
Living in Chicago for most of my life, I must confess that I've tossed back a lot of Old Style Beer in my day (we referred to it as "Dog Style" you might be interested to know). I am now, thanks to your service, just beginning to appreciate the distinctions between the many varied beer styles, but don't know what many of them are all about. My question is this: What exactly is an India Pale Ale? Did it originate in India?
John Leitch, Santa Fe, NM.
Dear John,
First of all, you should know that this is my first "Dear John" letter and although it's not my style, I'll try and be gentle. India Pale Ales (or IPAs) are typically aggressively hopped, higher alcohol content beers that were originally brewed for the residents of Gary, Indiana so that they could forget where they live from time to time.Just Kidding, John.
Seriously, the IPA style was developed by British brewers to be shipped to the Royal Army members stationed in India. It was heavily hopped and higher in alcohol in order to preserve it on the long voyage. Hope you enjoy the one we sent you this month!
Murl.
Dear Murl,
I've always wondered and never been able to find a good answer to the question: Who exactly were Anheuser and Busch?
Scott Musgrave, San Francisco, CA.
Dear Scott,
The answer to your question is obvious. Who Cares?! Let's face it, pal, if you try and put any of that stuff in bowl when I'm preoccupied with rawhide I'll be accidentally "marking my territory" in your living room. NEXT!
Dear Murl,
Every time my owner cracks open a brew, my mouth starts to salivate. So to satisfy my slobbery condition, he indulges me by pouring some beer into his cupped palm for me to lap up. My question is this: Is beer OK for us canines? - "Kono"
Jim Harris, Denver, CO.
Dear Kono,
My gut reaction to your question is...What are you kiddin' me bro? Does The Pope where a funny hat?! You bet it's OK for us!? But the legal suits we employ to sit around and tell us what we can't do have informed me that comments like that might be slightly negligible on my part, so I made a few prank calls to several of my favorite doggie docs. I got comments like, "I can't say that beer would be any better or any worse for dogs than it is for humans", "I would recommend alternative forms of stress relief such as feline chasing or rawhide chewies", and "Well, it is highly addictive and some canines have very delicate digestive systems."
Draw your own conclusions, Kono, but I'd prefer to think that an occasional brew (consumed in moderate quantities of course...especially burritto dogs like Chihuahuas) would be acceptable for many dogs. I'm sure that there are a few pansies out there whose "delicate digestive systems" might induce adverse reactions generating business for their local carpet cleaning service, but this Big Dawg eats license plates for breakfast and needs a little Wasatch to wasatch it down with! Your best bet would be to consult your personal physician cause he knows your insides a lot better than I do...unless you were in that out of control party in the dog park last weekend.
Take Care, Kono.
Dear Murl,
I've actually got two separate questions for you, if you can fit it in your busy schedule of gnawing on rawhide and lapping up your no doubt complimentary shipments from Microbrewed Beer of the Month Club. I've recently moved to Texas and have noticed that Longneck bottles are far more prevalent here than anywhere else in the country. Can you shed any insight as to why this may be? Secondly, and not related in anyway whatsoever, what's the difference between "cold-filtered" and "draft" beers?
Betsy Schmeling, Fort Worth, Texas
Dear Bets,
Does my acute canine sense of smell detect an air of attitude with your opening statement? I do a lot around here. Product research and Quality Assurance are two areas I take damn seriously. And by the by, let's get one thing straight. Not only do I get a complimentary subscription, I get pallets of beer ... to my bowl ... when I want it ... and served in my favorite stein cause I am the Main Mutt at Corporate if you get my meaning. So, what was your question again? Sorry, you got me all frothy here. Texas. Longnecks. Right. On the longneck thing, I really have no idea, however I suspect that it's some kinda phallic, cowboy-related subliminal deal suggestive of one's manliness. On your other inquiry, all beers are cold when they are filtered. Cold-filtered implies "fresh", and naturally draft beer means "very fresh". Both are really no more than slick marketing terms used by the big boyz to woo the general public into consuming mass quantities of their otherwise lack-luster products.
Remember the Alamo, Murl.
Dear Murl,
I'm a starving college student and have often pondered the ramifications of bagging my Business Administration degree in favor of a degree in Brewing Science so that I might someday be a brewmaster. Can you recommend some good brewing schools? Also, can you tell me the difference between a brewmaster at, say, Anheuser Busch and a brewmaster at a microbrewery?
Jake Vaughan, Londonderry, NH
Dear Jakester,
About $ 110,000 a year, a car that actually starts with relative continuity, and a business card that says "Mr." on it. Seriously, it's only about an 80K delta. I am very qualified to answer your question on schools as I applied to most of them after growing bored with the mundane curriculum at MIT. Unfortunately most had a conflict with my abnormally large amount of body hair and something about maintaining a sterile environment for brewing. In any case, here are a few that you might call to investigate further. Woof! (Can you make it Woof squared...ie. place a small 2 to the upper right of the 'f' in woof)
American Brewers? Guild, Davis, CA, 916-753-0497 Center of Brewing Studies, San Francisco, CA, 415-935-1919 MBAA Short Courses, Madison, WI, 608-231-3446 Siebel Institute of Technology, Chicago, Il, 312-463-3400 University of California at Davis, Davis, CA, 916-757-8899
Dear Murl,
I want to host a beer tasting. Can you give me any tips on how to make it a successful event?
Dessa Willie, Littleton, CO.
Dessa,
Your main task in hosting a beer tasting is making it a fun and educational evening. You'll want to make it an event that people will remember, so put some thought into these simple rules of thumb as you plan your soirie:
1. Obviously, your guest list should include only people who really enjoy beer, but consider mixing it up a bit between those that might consider themselves connoisseurs of hand-crafted beers to those that lock in on whatever is discounted most heavily at the local watering bowl. Enlightenment is a beautiful thing to behold.
2. Keep in mind that you need to be a responsible host. This is not an occasion to dust off your college beer bong, and quarters mixed with your sampling glasses tend to only confuse the palate. All you really need to get an ample taste of a beer is 2-3 ounces, which will allow your guests to try numerous styles without being featured on Real Stories of the Highway Patrol.
3. Food should play an important role in any beer tasting. Unsalted crackers, plain popcorn and water are key to helping cleanse the palet ...rawhide works well with the pack I run with. Consider asking your guests to bring over foods that compliment the styles of beer you plan to taste. Check out Candy Schermerhorn's Great American Beer Cookbook.
4. Serve the beers at their optimal recommended serving temperatures: Lagers around 42 degrees, ales at 50, and stouts and porters at approximately 55 degrees.
5. Be sure and have enough clean glassware and/or bowls. You may want to have 2 or 3 styles evaluated next to each other so its best to have at least 3 glasses per guest. You can have them rinse between rounds.
6. As the host, you'll need to be in charge of placing the beers in the order that they should be sampled - generally speaking lighter to darker styles is best. Facilitate discussion amongst your guests as to their observations of the beers sampled. You might want to put aside a bottle of Doggie Style Ale, guaranteed to spur some lively deliberation. Consider using Microbrewed Beer of the Month Club's enclosed beer evaluation form as a basis for discussion.
With these things in mind, your party should be a tremendous success. Just do me a favor and give me at least a weeks notice so I can line up the French poodle twins next door and book a flight. Cheers!
Dear Murl,
The last time I tried a wheat beer, some kind of sedimentary residue build up plopped on in my glass at the end of the pour. What's up with that, Murl?
Robert Alan Rohrer - "Lefty"
Bobby,
What you were looking at was a traditional wheat beer that has had a secondary fermentation in the bottle. That build up that you were most likely suspiciously eye-balling was the yeast that has settled to the bottom of the bottle of your unfiltered brew. Try not to be so eager to quaff next time with a slower pour and you'll be able to keep that yeast out of your glass. Chow.
Dear Murl,
Upon returning home with my take-out order from one of Denver's finer dining establishments, The Big Kahuna, I was most pleasantly surprised to find your beer shipment at my doorstep. I so wanted to wash down my burger with one of your beers, however, they weren't yet chilled. Can you tell me the fastest way to chill a beer so that I can try your shipments as soon as I get them?
- Randy Hall, Denver, CO.
Dear Randal,
Unless you've got access to a cryogenic research lab or a steady supply source for dry ice, I'd say you'll be forced to the use of more traditional and attainable components of the Periodic Table of Elements. Lucky for you that I spent some time as a waiter at the Ritz Carton until I was dismissed for mistaking one of my customer's hairpiece for a small rodent. If it wasn't already dead, you can rest assured that it is now, but that's another story for another column. I have a solution for you. (last sentence in italics) Fill a bucket with plenty of ice, water and then the secret ingredient, salt (a small pawful should do). Hold your beer by the neck between your paws and move them back and forth, spinning the beer in your ice bucket. If I can do it without thumbs, I'm sure you'll manage nicely. Anyway, that's what we used to do when we had to chill a bottle of wine rapidly. Should take only 5 minutes or so. Your other option is to just set your beers in the ice water and read about the beers for 10-15 minutes before trying them.
Hasta Luego Randalini!
Dear Murl,
How y'all doin' Murly dawg? I must tell you, I do love to read your column and thought it would be a real thrill for this little lady to be included in one. Now, you could most likely guess, as you are an exceptionally bright little doggie, that there are in fact very few women in the South that like to brew beer. I am, indeed an exception, in more ways than one. But I need you're help, my furry friend. You see, I've been sanitizing my bottles by immersing them in a water/bleach bath for 30 minutes or so, and then rinsing them out with a JetWasher. This seems to work fine, but it is a serious pain in ma petticoat! My question is simple: Is there an easier, bullet proof method? How do you do it and have you had any bad luck with that method?
Catherine (Kat) Cromartie, Atlanta, GA
Yo Kat!
First of all, I just have to let you know that I really dig babes that brew. It's a big turn on for this pooch. Can't say as I can put my paw on it exactly, but it's a good thang. What's up with the name, Katster? You're the second Kat to write in a question in the last month. You feline-types must be breeding a lot lately. Hey, did you catch that Discovery Channel special on small helpless rodents and where they hang out? Great stuff. To your question. Personally, because as I'm sure you are well aware, canines have exceptionally clean mouths with nearly non-existent bacteria levels, I lick my bottles clean. Of course I have to be careful to be sure that there aren't any Milk Bone particles or rawhide chewy bits in my mouth when I do it. I've really only once had my beer contaminated by this cleaning method and if I remember right, I had just returned from a road trip to Tijuana which may have had something to do with it.
In any case…Yep, there are several easier ways. Toss them in the old oven with your brownies at 350 and bake them for 30 minutes, let 'em cool, and bottle away. No kidding. It works. I know a pit bull that simply puts his bottles and bowls in the dishwasher before bottling and has never had a problem. As a general rule, it's always a good idea to rinse the bejeebees out of each bottle as you consume your private stock nectar. Hope that helps, Kitty Kat! Keep on Brewing! Woof! Murl.
Dear Murl,
I was kicking back, in a semi-intoxicated state after downing half of my shipment in one session, and began to contemplate just where the real serious beer drinkers of the world live. So, oh mighty and wise malty dog, can you tell me specifically what countries have the highest beer drinking consumption levels? By the by, I think your cute.
Molly Turner, San Francisco, CA
Yo Molly!
Okay. You've got my undivided attention. To be blunt…compliments will get your questions answers and more importantly, they might get you invited over for some treats and heavy petting if you know what I mean! Woof! Woof! Bow Wow! We could set a few consumption records ourselves. So, basically, who drinks the most. One time, I drank 17 bowls of Barley Wine and woke up naked in chicken coop with a half eaten Snickers Bar in my paw and two very cute chocolate labs at my side, but that's a different story. The 1995 edition of the Guinness Book of Records list Germany with the highest per capita beer consumption at 142.7 liters per year. However, prior to the reunification of Germany and the split of Czechoslovakia into the Czech Republic and Slovakia, West Germany and Czechoslovakia were nearly tied in the vicinity of 140 to 150 liters per capita. And it is conceded that the per capita consumption is higher in the Czech Republic than in Slovakia. Therefore, based solely on canine-logic, and without the benefit of data or statistics, I'm believe that the Czech Republic has the highest per capita consumption of beer, estimated to be over 150 liters per capita. That is my personal opinion which should be taken with a grain of barley, but then again, I am pretty damn smart. Hope that helps. Love ya babe. Woof! Murl. p.s. Call me.
Dear Murl,
I was kickin' back in my favorite blues bar, the New Dolphin Inn, last weekend and decided to venture out and try one of several malt liquors that were on hand behind the bar. Several things followed my consumption of a couple of tall boys: I found rhythm and became a dancing machine, my dance partners looked considerably better than they had only hours before, and I woke the next morning (or perhaps early afternoon) feeling as though I'd been beaten up side the head repeatedly with a large, blunt instrument. My question is a simple one. What the hell is a "malt liquor"? Is it different from beer and why don't I ever want to have one again?
Brock Frankel, San Diego, CA.
Yo Brock!
Good question. There seems to be much confusion with respect to the difference between a malt liquors and malt beverages. To answer your question, I've got to first let you know that the phrase, "malt liquor" is really just another marketing tool used to describe a category of beers that could be described as "fortified Bud". All malt liquors are also malt beverages. In many states, any malted beverage above 4 % alcohol by volume cannot be labeled as "Beer". As what has become to be known as "malt liquor" is not really a stout, porter, ale, or any of the other style descriptors that could be used instead of the word "beer", the phrase malt liquor was developed. Your basic King Cobras and Old English 800s of the world are brewed with more fermentable ingredients such as sugars and adjunct grains like rice and corn. Bottom line? Cheaply produced, high octane rocket fuel that would serve you equally as effective and perhaps more kindly the next morning as a rust remover rather than a social lubricant. Bit of trivia on the two above mentioned products: Old English originally got its name as it used to contain 8 % alcohol by volume. Cobra got its name after product research uncovered excessive consumption of the product to serve as an effective repellent towards the obviously highly intelligent reptile. Woof! Murl.
Dear Murl,
Can you tell me what the difference is between a Microbrewery and a Brewpub?
Gary Bischoff
Yo Gar,
The primary difference between the two as I see it, is that the odds of your pickin' up a fee-fee to share your tasty nectar with are dramatically improved when you frequent a Brewpub. True, both places produce and serve beer, a characteristic conducive to art of conversation, seduction and/or raw passion as the case may be, but an important distinction between the two establishments is that Brewpubs are really restaurants that produce their own beer for on site consumption and therefore are more of a public and social gathering place. Microbreweries may host tours and have small tasting rooms, but do not generally served food or host large crowds of thirsty consumers on a regular basis. Their primary function is to brew, bottle and keg beer for distribution to retail stores and/or draft account, whereas a brewpub is again, first and foremost a restaurant. Some larger brewpubs, however, do in fact distribute their products as well. Am I being perfectly unclear? Hope that helps clarify the issue for ya! Woof! Murl.
